


The Right Man For The Job

by PFDiva



Category: The Room Where It Happened (Podcast)
Genre: Background Poly, Drunken Flirting, Friendship, Gen, nothing happens but ???, players beware?, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 03:04:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19432624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PFDiva/pseuds/PFDiva
Summary: When Otto shows up at Seshmir's place in the middle of the night, Seshmir has to figure out how to deal with them.





	The Right Man For The Job

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redtailedhawk90](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redtailedhawk90/gifts).



> This was going to be something completely different than it turned out to be and I don't know if it's cowardice or just who Seshmir is as a character, but there you go.

"All of your friends suck," Otto declared from the darkness of Seshmir's living room.

Seshmir, who had been heading to the kitchen in search of water to lubricate the middle of his night, did not scream in response to the sullen voice coming from the darkness. He wasn't the type.

Instead, he gave his heart a moment to stop pounding in his chest, then turned on the living room light. Otto, as expected, was sitting on his couch. Unexpectedly, Otto looked disheveled and held a bottle of one of Orron's stronger brews. It wasn't one he made often, because most of his customers didn't have Seshmir's tolerance. In fact, as the panic slowly receded, it occurred to Seshmir that Otto had definitely stolen the bottle from Seshmir's stores.

"Well," Seshmir drawled, "Most of my friends would _ask_ before drinking my liquor, so I like them pretty well."

"They got Corra's house burned down," Otto unnecessarily pointed out, stumbling to their feet to wave their bottle at Seshmir.

Seshmir had almost definitely contributed to that, but now wasn't really the time. Otto was fast, strong, and could definitely do Seshmir some damage in a one on one fight. Not that he thought it would come to that, but it was worth keeping in mind.

"Well, I'm sure she's very comfortable at your place," Seshmir said, making his way around Otto to get his glass of water, "Why aren't you with her, by the way?"

"She's too hot," Otto complained, a pink flush creeping across their face and up their ears, "And I don't usually sleep in my own bed at night anyway."

Seshmir thought they were talking about Sands espionage shit until he turned back with a glass of water in hand to a look that he hadn't expected to see. He'd seen in on the faces of others gnomes and even short humans before, usually followed by someone expressing the desire to climb him like a tree.

He just hadn't thought Otto would feel interest, much less express it. He took half a step back.

"Oh no. I don't think so. There's a lot of things I'll do to my friends, but this isn't on the list."

Otto grinned and took a swig, "Didn't say anything."

"Didn't have to. Also, you're drunk." Seshmir offered Otto his glass of water, which Otto ignored.

"Corra's fine with it. We have an agreement."

"If I had a copper for every time I've heard that one," Seshmir said, injecting every ounce of disdain he could get into his voice. Otto grumbled and patted themself down until they produced a key.

"Corra. Corra, wake up. No, not really, just tell Seshmir we have an arrangement. Corra, wait! One second!"

Otto slapped the key against Seshmir's arm, and he could hear Corra groggily demanding to know why she'd been awakened at this ungodly hour.

"Otto is drunk and hitting on someone who's not you," Seshmir told her.

"Why are you telling me this?" Corra grumbled, "I didn't need to wake up to hear this. I don't want to know. I don't care. Why do you care?"

"Felt bad about your house," Seshmir quipped, because this night was taking a weird turn.

"I'm going back to sleep. Otto, have fun. If you need me, my key will be somewhere under the blankets." There was a rustling noise, then Otto took the key away from Seshmir's skin to try calling out to Corra. After a few minutes, they squinted up at Seshmir.

"She's not answering."

"I wonder why. It's time for bed, drunky."

Otto grumped their way to Seshmir's couch, but accepted the blanket and pillow he gave them.

When Seshmir got up the next morning, he found Otto sitting on his couch with a coffee in one hand, and a fancy doughnut in the other, looking like one of the lower hells warmed over. There was coffee and a doughnut on the living room table, ostensibly for Seshmir, and he plopped down next to Otto to enjoy both.

"Ooh, this is good coffee," Seshmir praised as he drank it. Otto made a disgruntled noise.

"It's alright. I just felt like I owed you…" They trailed off to stare into their coffee. Seshmir didn't want to have this conversation, so he deflected.

"About 4 gold? Orrin charged me 15 for that six-pack, and that was him giving me a deal."

Otto's head immediately came up, their brow furrowing with brief annoyance as they did quick math in their head, "I only drank _one!_ That's two and a half gold!"

"Gold and a half for giving you a place to sleep it off after," Seshmir quipped back, "Most inns charge at least 30 a night, so it's really a steal."

Otto barked out a surprised laugh, the tension in their shoulders unwinding enough so they could sit back against Seshmir's couch, their toes idly tapping the side of the coffee table. The pair sat in amiable silence a moment before Otto spoke up again.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Seshmir assured them, "You were drunk, it's no big deal. No harm, no foul."

Otto contemplatively finished their doughnut, then said, "Hypothetical."

"Nope."

"You're not even gonna let me finish?" Otto asked, more amused than annoyed.

"I know what you're gonna say, and it's not gonna work. I would get _attached,_ then I'd have to fight Corra for your affections, she'd lose, you'd get mad and stab me somewhere unpleasant, and it's just not my idea of a good time."

By the end of Seshmir's speech, Otto was wheezing with laughter and they climbed off Seshmir's couch to punch him in the shoulder, "Fuck _off_."

"That really hurt," Seshmir complained, because it did, but deadpan so that Otto kept laughing as they headed for the door.

"Good! Your friends are assholes and so are you."

"Corra's one of my friends," Seshmir teased, turning to watch Otto leave.

"Well, I wasn't talking about her. Bye."

"Bye," Seshmir singsonged at Otto.

When the door shut behind them, Seshmir went looking around at his windows and door to try and figure out how the hell they'd gotten in last night.


End file.
